In death doesn’t come peace
Nothing comes and nothing goes
It defies time, space and expression
There isn’t any hope or content or heaven
There isn’t any hurt or grief or agony or hell.
It ceases to exist yet exists in the existence of
the existence.
Brown eyes, dusky unrelenting
Bespectacled you step in our new class,
The kick start of a new semester-
probably of many firsts.
I did not feel the strum of beats then,
The change in the air, like a gush of wind-
Like I was unknowingly waiting,
With the nervous ticks of my heart all along.
We had a few laughs,together
We managed to blend softly….slowly,
Was then I realized this foreign feeling,
Like soft tinkling bells-the emotion of warmth.
We hit off like long lost mates,
Grinning at senseless jokes, seldom hidden,
I miss those moments now, lonely because…
I opened the box too late.
Those knowing eyes have now turned frosty,
That beautiful smile into a forced one-
Was then I knew my road towards you,
Was finally cluttered, with possibilities of getting only further.
I never came to know you more, the better-
I never could sense you like the first rains,
Those footprints I left as your path crossed mine,
Forever got washed away by the currents of fading times.
Yearning to see you again, to talk to you
Was something I could contemplate like waking up the dead,
I hitched up the horses at the edge of cliff, I know;
And stealthily pushed you off, then vanish from my sight.
Those times were tearing, when you held hands,
With that lucky girl- you looked at her the way,
You looked at me before- bifurcating my frisked heart,
Neatly into two- as I digested the brunt of my deeds.
My times with you were like golden mist and silver mistletoe,
Like cherry blossoms, like the spray of the seas,
Like the feel of slipping sand: kneading the irony of-
Losing what I had, what could have been mine.
And here I am, at the end of this twisted road,
It goes through valleys, gorges and dry deserts,
Hoping to meet a place where happiness meets its peak-
But turns out the delusion was what fate posed.
The unlikeliness of you laughing with me,
Playing with my hair or dancing with me in the rain-
Feels like the love that I wish, the comma to my vacuum,
But these unwilling blinds distort that light- showing me where all this goes.
I know, regret is like a poison vile- useless and unyielding,
It’s like cruising on a ship without a wheel-devoid of direction,
You and me seems more like you and “her”,
And it hurts, hurts more than what my limits can convey.
These icy hedges and sharp rocks hurt my feet,
Red slowly covers the white, but the walk seems mesmerizing,
The pain feels numb when I look at the peak,
It hides the sun- the light which always lured me like a moth to a flame.
Time ticks, heart beats and syncopates with yours-
But the hymns sound so wrong, because you already left-
And then I know, it was my incomplete hymn-
Because your echoing, fading footsteps slowly diminished into nothing.
The knight approached the maiden fair,
Got down on bended knee,
Say thou will become my wife,
My heart belongs to thee.
The maiden looked him in the eyes,
Her face was full of pain,
I can’t accept thy offer, sir,
Return to whence you came.
Thou hast lost thy mind! He said.
His eyes grew dark and wild.
Is it ‘cause thou art unchaste?
Hast thou been defiled?
The blonde-haired maiden kept her poise,
The evening air was still,
Thou doth not understand me, sir,
A man can’t bend my will.
I pray to Eve before I slumber,
The first one to be blamed,
I vow to stay a shrew, good sir,
And this one shan’t be tamed.
I wrote a poem about how strong grandma’s are and I think many people can relate.
Title: G R A N
Poem:
I know you by the four letter word,
Because you re-planted me like singing songbird.
You told me to bloom,
Your happiness radiates like a fragrance of a floral perfume. Your strength is a stem,
Spanning and spiralling upwards again.
I know I’m not your retirement plan,
But I need you to be my watering can.
I love you gran.
I don’t want to wake up
I can’t see when the sky starts and when the ocean ends
A horizon doesn’t exist, only the clouds show me how deep the sky is and how high the ocean flows
I feel the turbines of the plane plow through the atmosphere,
Rotating its blades into the winds it cannot see, but that I can feel
Nobody is here with me, they have forgotten
Throughout this dark escapade that funnels through the sky, they are blinded by their own darkness
They close their eyes and look away from the light,
They all look at me in disgust, wanting me to join them in the darkness
But I refuse to look away, the light is blinding but it starts to consume my mind
It calls to me
The light loves me
And I cannot stand looking away
But we do not know what will happen, all we know is that we are.
Both of us riding through the same beam of existence that carry its waves through time and space
They look at me again, this time closing the light
Its fading,
I’m gasping for it, it is leaving me now, its gone.
The ice melts below me as the floor starts to feel the weight of my heart
My body plummets out of the plane and the sky shatters,
Leaving behind me a trail of purple velvet butterflies and sun-kissed leaves
I fall and cannot see where I am going and am unsure if I am falling up or rising down…
Or if I am even moving at all
The angels tell me to open my eyes, and the sky whispers in my ear to hold its hand.
I am in a meadow, but one that won’t show me its bows and curvature,
One that traps me in its softness
and that surrounds me with pedals of roses,
kissing my cheeks and falling gracefully through my fingertips
I try to hold them, I feel them touching me and tingling the back of my spine
Goosebumps fill my senses as I feel my body thrust into ecstasy.
I close my eyes now.
How beautiful the breeze,
How overwhelmingly vivid it consumes me
I’m falling through time, surrounding myself with your space.
The light creaks my eyes open, blinding me-yelling at me for letting them close my eyes
I knew that there would come a day, I can see you again
I do not understand where you begin, where you are, or where you end.
I cannot see it
But I am there, being in it, being in you, and you flowing through me
They tell me to close my eyes and to not look at the light, to not permit your brilliance to capture me,
But you already have, I am blinded but can see what they cannot.
In here I live in darkness, they all do, but you are infinity.
And your unending presence keeps me drifting, floating, climbing, racing, and falling for your light.
September 6th, 2013; I remember asking you; If you could be anything in this whole entire world, what would you choose to be? You turned to look at me with your gentle eyes and your response was hesitant as you whispered “I’d be a tree.”
As those words left your precious mouth, so did the tears from my eyes as I was struggling to read that familiar name on the obituary trying to figure out if it was reality or just me going crazy.
My loved one, you were always a tree and now I can truly see, but you’ve fallen in this forest where you once stood so tall with me; reaching for the blue skies and swaying gracefully, your leafs began to wither and dull as they fell to the ground along with you taking everything you and I once knew, along with those deep roots that once grew
However, a seed remains as your memory is forever in the wind and earth to be continued.
There is nothing braver
than knowing the end
and still loving the present
unconditionally.
Don’t tell me to be polite.
If I had all the manners
that I should
I would have never
told him
No.
Rose : A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.
Me to Rose : why mine is so shallow that he knows all the secrets without being drawning in it.
Rose : A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.
Me to Rose: why mine is so shallow that he knows all the secrets without being drowning in it.